Please prepare a 30-60 second comedic monologue for the initial audition. Memorization is optional.

In need of a monologue? Choose one of these three from the show!

MONOLOGUE 1: STRAW PIG

STRAW PIG: (To WOLF) So what are you waiting for, big guy? Go and get it!

(WOLF races OFF RIGHT. STRAW PIG watches WOLF go, turns to the AUDIENCE, and talks fast.)

That was too close! Much too close! Okay, so here’s the deal. That was the Big Bad Wolf, and in case you didn’t notice, he’s clearly here to trick us little pigs and have us all for dinner. I surmise that he wanted to eat me, but thankfully I was able to escape with a little smarts and misdirection. That’s right…you may have heard some stories about me. Yes, I built my house out of straw, but I have some brains up here, thank you very much. Street smarts, some say. No one ever gives me any credit. Everyone thinks I’m just a lazy, dumb little pig, but I’m not. After all, I outsmarted that clever conniving carnivore, didn’t I?! And I still have my dignity intact.

MONOLOGUE 2: DETECTIVE PIG

DETECTIVE PIG: It was early in the morning when he first showed his face. You know, that time of day when the sun is rising but the damp fog of night still lingers. I was hot on another case—a pearl-snatching case for some swine, if you know what I mean. Anyway, the trail had gone cold when…

That’s right. It was the Big Bad Wolf. I was onto him from the start. I knew his game. He was here for one thing and one thing only - to find and devour us. So naturally, I just played it cool. I was undercover, so I knew I better not draw attention to myself. (Hides from the WOLF)

I suspected something fishy was going on. But I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I could stick with my current case, or I could find out more about this Big Bad Wolf that was on the loose. At the risk of casting my own pearls before swine and missing the most important thing, I decided it was best to trail the Big Bad Wolf and keep a close eye on him.

MONOLOGUE 3: POET PIG

POET PIG:

What kind of meadow is this, you ask?

And what kind of pigs are we?

What is a pig at all?

And what is a meadow?

What is anything really?

Some pigs are big.

Some pigs wear wigs.

There are pigs who eat figs,

And there are pigs who do jigs.

I know one pig

Who built a house made of twigs.

And I know another pig

Who just likes to dig.

(Doing an echo effect with her voice.)

Dig, dig, dig!

Fig, wig, twig!

I know a fast pig

Who likes to zag and zig.

And then there’s a pig

Who rigs and configs.

Me?

I’m just a pig

Who digs poetic gigs.